Accountability? What's that?

Lyndsay and I were talking the other night about her work and it reminded me of my days working at the MTC, which, when I say that, it makes it sound like it was SO long ago (It feels like that some days! haha). Lyndsay made a comment about accountability that totally struck a chord with me, which is what leads me to writing this post. It seems in the struggle for "free choice" many are abandoning all notions of accountability. Almost as if the two couldn't possibly exist. Since when did accountability become a bad thing? Lyndsay shared one example of this guy who called her up at work and was SUPER frustrated that he couldn't find the clinic for his appointment. Lyndsay asked what address he had since a few clinics had recently moved. The address was for the clinic was on Street Y (I will leave out the real names since they won't make a difference) and the man calling had the correct street address. However, he couldn't find the address. He begins yelling and cursing and getting all bent out of shape that Lyndsay and her company had made the address SO hard to find. Well, come to find out, the man wasn't even on Street Y. He was on a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STREET! And yet, it was still Lyndsay's fault that he couldn't find the address. How does that work? Another example. While working at the MTC I was almost daily amazed at how quickly individuals would point the finger of blame at God for their own inadequacies. It was God's fault that they couldn't keep the law of chastity. It was God's fault that they "couldn't refrain" from sin. It was ALWAYS somebody else's fault. Does this mean that when I am out playing golf, and I miss a shot, it is because the wind didn't blow my ball in the right direction? Or because the golf course chi was out of wack, therefore meaning the owners of the course hadn't properly dialed in the course-wide zen? Or, heaven forbid, could it simply be that I messed up my shot? Maybe my timing was off in my club rotation, maybe my take-back was too shallow, maybe I lifted my head too early, etc. There are a myriad of reasons for a muffed golf shot, but the point being that I am the one swinging the club, nobody else. I think this is partly what Christ's apostles understood when, upon learning that one of the apostles would betray Christ, they immediately said "Is it I?" <----- Accountability. I think this is one of Satan's greatest undercover undermining of God's plan for each of us. Let me just say, I am so thankful for parents who have helped me to understand accountability and the fact that I make the decisions, and by the decisions I make, I choose the consequence.

Double Meanings

So, we all know that the scriptures are full of double-meaning scriptures. One such example comes from the Old Testament in Amos 8: 11-12 where it foretells a famine in the land..."not of famine of bread or thirst for water, but of hearing the word of the Lord..." And we understand this, in the LDS church, to be indicative not only of the rejection of early prophets and their words, but also a prophecy concerning the Great Apostasy. There are other examples as well, but one in particular stood out to me today. It comes from D&C 121:33, which reads: "How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints" (emphasis added). Obviously the part I am referring to is the emboldened section in the middle. This verse, as you can read, is speaking specifically about Heavenly Father pouring out knowledge and blessings upon the members of His Kingdom here on the earth. Nothing can stop Him in His work. But I stumbled upon another additional and seemingly prophetic meaning of this scripture today: Micah. He has an amazing amount of energy some days, and today was no exception. And despite my sincerest efforts I feel like a puny man in the middle of the Missouri trying to change its direction and course when I try and bridle my son's energy and put it to good use (i.e. cleaning up his messy room or being kind to his sister). I love the energy, but there seems to be no way to channel it to more constructive uses instead of destruction! hahaha. My "puny arm" just isn't cutting it. :) But I am happy he has so much energy and finds joy in so many simple things, like completely destroying his room. Entropy is real! hahaha. I love you, Micah!

Should I keep my Facebook account?

What has Facebook become? I remember, upon first returning home from Virginia, all my friends were talking incessantly about Facebook and about how much time they wasted on there. I remember thinking "What is the point?" Then one summer, about two years ago, I called a good friend of mine (a convert to the church in Virginia who was living in Cali) and he didn't answer his phone. I left a message letting him know I was thinking about him and wanted to see how things were going out in California. He called me back two or three weeks later and let me know that he had been out to sea (he is in the Navy) and I was one of two messages he actually had received on his phone after being out to sea for three months! That's just crazy. And what's worse, the other message was from a telemarketer. So, I decided to get a Facebook account in order to keep in touch with him, which I believe was a worthy goal and purpose. Since then, I have become exposed to what Facebook seems to have become, and I am seriously re-considering my decision. Here are some of my complaints:

1.) I have always said that real friends are better than virtual friends. Hands down, I would much rather be a friend to someone in real life than to claim them as a friend on Facebook.

2.) I have always heard the argument that Facebook allows me to "keep in touch" with people I haven't seen in a while. I understand the argument, but seriously, when was the last time you actually talked to one of these people? Or how many of them have you actually un-friended? Or how many of them have you even commented on their posts? Other than my initial invite, I don't think I have done any of those things with those "long-lost-friends." So, can I really call them my friend? I guess I know that they went and bought a new fishing pole the other week. Does that qualify me as a friend?

3.) All the time I see people ragging on their family and/or friends (real life ones, not virtual ones) who are also their "friends" on Facebook and most likely see the status. Since when did personal feuds or disagreements become public? Am I archaic to think that if I am having a problem with someone, I should go to that person and work it out? This absolutely BLOWS MY MIND that people feel justified in publicly trashing on their friends and family, especially when that person will most likely read the status and see the comments below the person's post about how sorry they feel for that person and that they family or friends are being so mean. Imagine if when you messed up in school instead of having your teacher take you aside and reprimanding you or having to go to the principle's office, the teacher marched you down to the office and announced over the intercom that you had messed up? And imagine if the teacher then allowed all of his/her friends to come in and rag on you? (And I won't even go into situations where you may not have been in the wrong in the first place!!!!!) If that happened in real life, that school teacher would instantly be out of a job, and chances are the school would be shut down because no parents would want to subject their kids to that kind of treatment. (You can tell this is my biggest beef with people in Facebook)

4.) Since when did "un-friending" or even blocking becoming a retaliation tactic? I have to admit, I am guilty of this on one count, and it was one of the silliest decisions I ever made (f.y.i. I worked it out with the person, talking face-to-face, not by posting it on Facebook). There are some who get SUPER offended over another person un-friending them or blocking them on Facebook. You would think the person had gone and peed in their car. I mean, seriously people, come on!

5.) Farmville........need I say more?

Now, of course this post makes me sound like a hater, and truth be told, I understand that most of these complaints have to do with the people on Facebook and not the entity itself. I love that I can know what's going on in the lives of others. I also love that I can get a hold of someone in a foreign country whose cell-phone doesn't work. However, each of those things used be to substituted with a different communication technique (i.e. email or, heaven forbid, a telephone!). So, don't be surprised if I suddenly fall of the Facebook map sometime in the near future. And no, it isn't because I don't love you, I just don't care about your finding of a virtual cow. :)

Sometimes I don't want to log into Facebook

I was going to post this on Facebook, but felt it wasn't really the right place to post. Truth be told, one of the only reasons I am typing this now is because I just feel like I want to have it written down somewhere. I get scared sometimes to log into Facebook because I worry about seeing comments about my Uncle Alain. I guess I am still sad about the whole thing. I worry so much about his kids, his wife, his family, how they are holding up, etc. Growing up I always felt like I was pretty good with death, but I think part of that is because I inadvertently kept myself too far from the situation to allow myself to feel. I guess maybe I was scared of how I would feel, I don't know. Uncle Alain, I miss you real bad. Every once in a while I stumble upon your funeral program paper and a flood of emotion hits me. When I don't think about it I am okay, but when I see things that remind me, I can't help but miss you, and wish you were around. I guess I kind of don't feel justified in feeling sad since there are others who are closer to you and who feel a greater hole in their heart. I guess that's why I didn't want to post this on Facebook and decided to write it down here. I feel myself wanting to be more and more like you, almost like becoming like you will make sure you will stay with me forever. And sometimes I feel like that is a pretty selfish thing to think. But more than anything, I just miss having you around. I miss your hugs, your smile, and your warm friendliness. I miss having you call the house asking to speak to my dad. I miss your surprise visits and I am really worried about your kids and how they are feeling. I hope to help them feel better and help them make it through this tough time. I also worry about my dad. I try not to comment on anything about you because if it makes me sad, I can't imagine how it must make him feel. I now understand what the scriptures mean about speaking of the Savior's atonement as the balm of Gilead. I am so happy that our Savior provided relief from pain like this. I guess I just need time. I miss you, and I am so very anxious to reunite with you in heaven someday, to feel your warm embrace, and to have you smile at me. I pray all is well with you, and that you are finding great success in your work on the other side. I love you, Uncle Alain, and I love my Savior for providing a way for me to turn these ashes into beauty, to lift the hands that hang helplessly down. God be with you 'til we meet again.