So, needless to say.....it has been a WHILE since I wrote on my blog. Part of the delay has been due to my busy schedule, or at least that's what I like to tell myself. However, in truth, the greatest reason for the delay has simply been because of laziness. Several times over the last few months I have felt the "burning desire" to write on my blog, but obviously that burning was more of a mildly warm sensation that was easily choked out by golf, television, and the occasional "men don't blog" ego that overpowers the true blogger within me. In any event, here I go, entering the blogging world like a "thief in the night" with hopes that I will stick around longer than the 15 minutes it will take me to write the 200-300 words in this post.
For the past year or so I have been suffering from the feeling that our car is dying a low and painful death. I think part of that is fueled by my desire for the "new" and part of that if fueled by the fact that our car isn't in tip-top shape. I know, I know, college students aren't supposed to have it "good," but I really wanted to have a car that I felt would keep me on the road and safe. Recently I took on what was to me a massive car project - the oil-pan gasket. Since I am not a car person, this was quite the feat for me to accomplish (I say "me" but truthfully I couldn't have done it without the help of my brother, Jean-Michel). 8 hours of work, some gall bladder trouble, and lots of oil was not enough to stop us and I felt like quite the little mechanic for about a week's time (despite the fact that the oil leak was not localized to the oil-pan gasket alone. In other words, the oil spot under my car is still growing, but thankfully at a much slower rate). However, recently our car decided to throw another tantrum that landed it back in the auto shop for the greater portion of today.
Initially, the goal was to simply get some new tires and an alignment (our two front tires were wearing unevenly on the inside). However, our brakes recently starting making this sound that.....Well, you know that feeling you get inside when someone scrapes their nails on the chalkboard? Or the lurching inside that comes as a result of "squeaky chalk?" Or that uneasy pain that comes from getting some sand in your mouth and biting down? That is how our brakes felt. So, when I went into the shop this morning I told the mechanic that I needed two new tires ($178) an alignment ($60-80) and some work on the brakes ($???). My prayer was that the brake problem would be small (those of you who have had your car in the shop know that these types of prayers are uttered in vain because anything that sounds like it isn't a big deal, costs about $1200!!). Well, true to form, the shop called me about 10:00 and told me that the problem with my brakes was not machinable and that I was looking at $250 to replace my front brakes and rotors. *sigh* Joy.....
So, Lyndsay and I were expecting something on the order of $480-500 for this trip to the auto shop. Not exactly an exciting event, but we felt more or less prepared for this kind of a hit. Then around 3:00 the auto shop calls again. All of a sudden I could hear a "sucking sound coming from my wallet" as my father-in-law would say. "Well sir, when we were taking off your front right tire, the bearings completely fell apart, so we had to replace them."
Me: "Okay......"
Shop: "So, this kind of a job usually runs about $113."
Me: (silence) ".....Okay, so what is the total bill?"
Shop: "Well, with the (voice trails off and all I hear is ChaCHING! ChaCHING! ChaChing!)...five hundred and sixty seven dollars..."
Me: (silence) "..Okay..."
Shop: "So, your car is ready to be picked up."
Me: "....okay...."
Now, an extra $67 wasn't the end of the world, especially considering the fact that the job usually cost a little more than a hundred bucks. However, that brought our running total to about $567 more than we could afford to spend on our car and about $87 more than we were "optimistically" expecting to spend. Needless to say, I was worried. In fact, I was struggling with emotions of anger and flat-out despair as I went to the auto shop to claim my car. I paid the bill (which luckily they cut down to $535 instead of $567) and left with my car.
Before going home I stopped at my parent's house to deliver some wires that I had received out of the blue from my father. While there, my emotions finally got the best of me. I couldn't contain my fear and despair anymore. When I began to cry my dad asked "What's wrong" to which I replied "I don't know how I am going to pay for this." My dad (and my sister, who happened to be in the room at the time) came and gave me a big hug and my dad (coupled with a conversation I had with my mom previous to getting my car) proceeded to open my eyes to one of the most amazing lessons I have learned in my life about faith. My dad shared a specific experience where he had to get some work done on his car where the mechanic quoted him a price of $350 for the job including parts and labor (all the other shops around quoted him $900 or more). Naturally my dad took the quote, but when he went to the shop to pay for his car, the manager of the place told me dad "Okay, that will be $530." The mechanic stared at the computer with utter shock in his eyes and then tried to hide his initial reaction. The manager had added an extra $180 to my dad's bill for no apparent reason. My dad was frustrated, but being my dad, he didn't put up a fight and paid the bill. The very next day, my parents went out to get some book shelves for my dad's cd's and dvd's. They planned to use the money they had saved ver the past few months to purchase the shelves. Interestingly enough, my parents were able to find some deals and ended their shopping with exactly $180 left over from their savings. That made the difference.
As I looked back at what recently has happened with our finances, I realized that these wires I received "out of the blue" (I put in the quotations because my dad later told me that He was specifically told to give those wires to me, even though He planned on doing them), combined with some money I had received for an old set of golf clubs and some money we had received to cover the cost of some clothes that were ruined in our Wymount dryers added up to almost exactly, to the dollar, the amount we owed in order to fix our car.
Today I learned that previously in my life I felt like I had lived by faith, and maybe I did to the best of my ability. However, today, while "hanging over the edge" with the expenses for our car, my parents helped to open my eyes to see God's hand in my life. I learned that living by faith often means that we aren't just close to the edge, but we are literally hanging over the edge with nothing else to do. It is during these times that we need to open our eyes to see and open our ears to hear the ways that God has provided a way out of our difficulty. I learned that 60% faith won't cut it. I learned that God truly can cover the extra cost of ball bearings and provide the necessary relief and faith to face our challenges with confidence and peace. I won't lie, living by faith is SCARY!!!! In fact, I don't believe I have ever felt as scared and uncertain as I did today. However, because of loving and experienced parents, and because of a loving Heavenly Father, my eyes were opened to the tender mercies of God and to His divine providence!
